Understanding Saddam Hussein
Posted by Joe Hickman, HaLife.com
Hard-nosed, veteran investigative journalist that I am, I just
had to dig into Saddam Hussein's past in an attempt to explain
the possible causes of his behavior. Here is what I uncovered.
When he was a baby, Saddam's fundamentalist au pere only
believed in changing his diaper once every two weeks.
As a child, he was confined to his room and exposed constantly
to second-hand fig potpourri.
His pediatrician once treated a childhood infection by injecting
honey into his sinuses and shoving locusts up his nose.
In second grade, everybody laughed when he lost the spelling bee
at Mosul Elementary by spelling the word "Kurd" with a Q.
When he misbehaved as a child, his father made him sleep naked
on a water buffalo.
On a dare, he spent the summer of 1962 smoking Preparation-H.
He once witnessed his best cow being humped by a camel.
He was once rejected by a semi-voluptuous vixon named Baghdad
Bernice who smelled like an embalmed goat.
His first wife always liked his sister best.
He suffers from boomasomnia. He just can't sleep without the
sound of roadside bombs.
Every morning, all his life, he's been getting up on the wrong
side of his nails.
Though my findings may help explain Saddam Hussein's behavior,
please don't tell anyone about it. I don't want to have to
testify.
|
|
|
